Fox anatomy

 

DH: Do foxes have feet? Or hooves? No….it’s feet isn’t it?

Maths is easy

This weekend me and DH were talking about a maths test he has to take as part of a qualification he’s doing. It should be really easy but we were joking about him having to count on his fingers, etc

DH: Haha…well let’s see…I’ve got 8 fingers, 2 thumbs and 4 toes. Wait…that’s not right is it?

Whole eggs!

DH: Have you seen those eggs on the buffet?!
Me: Which eggs?
DH: There are whole eggs on the buffet! I mean, how are you meant to eat them!?
Me: Well….
DH: (interrupts) Are you supposed to eat them raw?
Me: No. They’re boiled eggs.
DH: Oh. (sits quietly for a while) Is this going in your blog?
Me: Yes.

How to eat fish

DH: (having just finished eating a whole seabass) You know there’s a way to tell which bits of a fish you can & can’t eat.
Me: What’s that then?
DH: Yeah, it’s like on telly when a cat eats a fish and ends up with just the head, backbone and tail left.
Me: What?
DH: You know, like in the….no, hang on, I’m thinking of cartoons aren’t I?

The Moth

DH: (pointing to large moth flapping about on the floor) Is that alive?
Me: Yes. Yes it is. You can tell by all the moving about it’s doing.
DH: No. I mean, do you know what it’s going to do next?
Me: I really don’t
DH: I’m not asking the right questions. I mean, is it going to die?
Me: Maybe. It doesn’t look very well.
DH: (quietly) I wasn’t asking the right questions.

Bingo. I can count.

Sat in hotel lobby waiting for bingo to start
DH: (looking at bingo machine) What’s that number?
Me: It’s….
DH: (interrupts) Is it the number of people in this room?
Me: No. It’s the bingo machine.
DH: I can probably count the number of people in this room.
Me: Only probably?
DH: I mean, I definitely could
(There were approx 30 people in the room. DH did not attempt to count them. The number on the bingo machine was 72.)

Morph is brown

DH: (pointing at purple-ish sunset) What colour would you say that is? Purple or blue?
Me: Mauve
DH: Morph?
Me: No, mauve
DH: Morph is brown
Me: Not Morph, mauve!
DH: Oh. What colour is that then?
Me: Sort of purple-ish
DH: Hmmm, mauve. How do you spell that then? M A U V E?
Me: Yes.
DH: Mauve. I’m learning stuff